Mothers

As I am writing this, I am relaxing on the couch with a glass of wine. I realized this is the most I have sat down and relaxed in quite a while.

I am not sure if I like it. LOL. I am not good at this whole sit by yourself and relax. Definitely something I need to get used to and start enjoying. But tonight I will take this moment to sit and just write. No interruptions.

With Mother's Day coming up, I have been thinking a lot about moms. I am not a mom yet, (even though at least one of the 19 students calls me "mom" at least once a day), but I know many moms. Most of my friends are moms.

Usually people my age, who are not yet mothers, cannot stand listening to moms talk about their kids. But me, I love that stuff. I love hearing the funny stories, the frustrating stories, and the down-right lovable stories about mothers and their kids.

But of course, being friends with so many moms, especially on Facebook, I read a lot of statuses and blog posts about the "how-to"s. I see arguments--both sides. I see the posts about "feed your children only organic" and "use cloth diapers" and "get off your iphone." I see moms help each other out. And I see moms back themselves up on why they do what they do.

Often I laugh and sometimes I roll my eyes. Not because I am judging you or that I am being condescending. I am not a mom, what do I know, right? But what I am trying to say is that YOU ARE ALL GOOD MOMS!

It doesn't matter if your next door neighbour spent her day pureeing and freezing 5 years of fresh veggies and showered and took care of her kids, while you only managed to microwave a box of Kraft Dinner. You are still a good mom.

Maybe you are one of those moms that does make her own baby food. I think you are awesome too.

To me, being a good mom doesn't mean cloth diapers or disposable diapers, jars of baby food or homemade, homeschooling or regular school, having a set daily routine or just winging it from day to day. Being a good mom is love.

So maybe you do show your love through organic food and cloth diapers--you're keeping your children healthy. That is wonderful. I love it. But that doesn't mean the mom that doesn't do it all, does not love her kids.

We all feel love in different ways. We all show love in different ways. To our friends, our family and our kids. But love is what is important. I don't just mean saying you love them when you put them to bed at night. I mean the full out unconditional love. Which I am so sure you all have for your kids. If you have that love, that love that makes your heart hurt, then that's what I think a good mom is.

Stop reading facebook and thinking "I am a horrible mom" or "So-and-so does ________ and ________ for her kids, she is such a good mom. I am a horrible mom because I can barely get out of my jammies before noon."

My mom fed  me Kraft Dinner, I wore disposable diapers, I had a bottle until I was 4. Hey, I turned out okay. I have an amazing relationship with my mom. I know its because she loves me. She hugs me. She talks to me. She lets me be me. I have never had to walk on egg shells around her. I tell her the truth. Sure I have disappointed her and she has disappointed me. But she still loves me and I still love her. Unconditionally.

I have, and have had, so many mom-figures in my life. They are all so different and all have different opinions. But the reason they all feel like moms to me is not because they tell me what to do--they don't. It is because they give me advice and because they love me like a mother. Unconditionally.

One of my favourite bloggers/authors, Ann Voskamp, wrote a blog post about mothers recently. Read it here. I recommend you read it. It is amazing. But what I really loved was this:

"So God made a mother.

It had to be somebody willing to keep loving when it made no sense because that’s what love does."

That right there is unconditional love. It is the best love of all. It is the love that God shows to us. We mess up all the time, but He loves us still. That is the love that you should be reflecting. To your kids, and everyone else in your life. That is what makes you a good mom, sister, wife, neighbour and friend.

This weekend, when your kiddies says "Happy Mothers Day Mom!" Don't dwell on what you are doing "wrong" or differently than the other Facebook-Mommas. You got the best job in the world. I can't wait until I am in your shoes. So just love love love your kids. Hug them. Kiss them. Give them Kraft Dinner ;)